So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize