I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She said her name was "party"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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