My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
