His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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