God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
