it wasn't lemon gatorade
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
