At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
