his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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