I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I know her cup size but not her name....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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