This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
