You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize