I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
