Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
