it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
