he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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