Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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