are you still at the devil's house?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
