Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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