Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
