I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
