I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
