I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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