You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
