dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
