No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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