tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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