like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
