The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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