can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
