I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
