hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
