I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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