u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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