Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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