Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
