I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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