Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Of course I have a pirate flag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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