what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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