I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize