is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
