So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You dont lie about slip and slides
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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