my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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