you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
