so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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