By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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