I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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