it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
