ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Terrible idea I love it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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