We won't sleep together?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
