Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
