i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
