Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
