tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
