I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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