Tell her she can't have a vagina
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize