Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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