it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
