bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
